Tuesday, June 11, 2024

 Forest Reverie

© 2024 Chris Orr

The widow sleeps in a teardrop camper. Her bed is sweet. Spring is right outside the curved wooden door. Blossoms and the bright new tips of conifer scent the air. Birdsong tickles her ears. The peace is welcome after the city days of family, friends and all the loving tears of loss, support for their shared grief.  

Her darling husband is no more. His death came before this glorious spring. She is sad he cannot enjoy its aromas, the sights of the fresh dresses that bloom like flowers in the city streets. He sparked on that, in the many springs they had together.

 

Night comes, velvet, soft and unstoppable. Stars arc over her solitary camp site and the dark points of redwoods reach to infinity. 

 

She summons the ghosts into her lair, feels the power of that summoning. Here are her husband and her lover. The two of them together, something they politely avoided in their lifetimes. But now they are ghosts and her wishes are meant to be fulfilled. It is the way the dead can comfort the living when there is love there. A bidding, a calling, a wish fulfillment, sprouting from grief. A garden of wishes, lavender, narcissus, urgent sprouts of new desires, a way to find the heat of spring emerging. 

 

The widow lies back in her camper bed, allows the ghosts to surround her, two mischievous spirits. One who liked cunnilingus so much he hasn’t given it up as a ghost. He guides her fingers to follow his phantom tongue. The other liked kissing so much, he bestows breezy caresses as she sighs with the memories. Her beloveds are bees reveling in blossoms. The charitable and kindly ghosts hover over her, switching from lips to pussy to the curves here and there of her whole body. 

 

She closes her eyes to see her ghosts better. She feels their generous dance. They are there for her, caressing her the ways they know and in all the ways she loves. She moans, sees colors, falls into a dazed happiness to have them so present in her camper in the forest. 

 

The teardrop camper holds her in its magic droplet, a dream brought on half awake, half asleep, the gentle draught of Puck’s blossom on her eyes, the balm of love on her body. 

 

She comes in tears. To be reunited with these sweet spirits puts a tender coda to a long sunny day. She drifts to sleep, knowing she will not wake to coffee brewing, to bustling camp, but she is satisfied and whole. She can go on. It is green new spring.

Tuesday, December 29, 2020

 



 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Library of Kisses

The building is glass and mesh, large but not intimidating. Rather, welcoming. A cantilever of floors over the city street. We can see lights inside but can’t quite make out what is there. We move closer, holding tight to each other’s hands. Curious and eager.

The door swings open as we approach. No sound. Daylight streams in from high clerestories. An escalator in the lobby moves upwards silently, smoothly, continuously. We step onto it and gasp as we realize where we find ourselves. This is the famous Library of Kisses.

The librarians have used the Greek names for Love to organize and label all eight of the floors: Eros (the body), Philia (the mind), Storge (family), Ludus (play), Mania (obsession), Pragma (endurance), Philautia (self, soul), Agape (highest form of love, divine).

Each floor opens as we rise, each with wooden tables, small lamps and silk pillows. Each pillow has a tag sewn neatly on its edge. Perched on the pillows, the embodiment of love: lips. Lips in all shades of red, pink, brown; lips narrow, lips full, lips parted, lips glistening, lips wet, lips pursed, lips smiling. Combinations of these traits, too--an infinite potential for kisses.

We leave the escalator to examine the offerings on the Ludus floor. It is an airy floor, all shades of green. One entire aisle has red-labeled Cans of Bliss, the red vibrating against the greens of the room. The pillow tags describe the qualities and applications of the nestled lips, of the proffered kisses.

I contemplate a smiling pair of lips, plump and very lifelike, when my companion leans over, “Stop reading for a minute,” she says. She lightly touches the lips on the pillow with her index finger and they disappear like a bubble, with a soft pop. “Here is that kiss. Like this.” She nuzzles her lips under my ear, a warm, soft exploration ending in a little nibble on my ear lobe. “It is supposed to tickle,” she says, drawing back to study me.

“Yes, it does,” I say in appreciation. “How did you know?”

“See the sign? This whole table has tickling kisses. Over there are the slurping smooches, right near the movie kisses.”

“Can we take some of those home?” I wondered. “For later?” The lips she had touched are returning, it looks like a mist, condensing into their original form on the pillow.

She grabs my hand and pulls me back onto the escalator, this time going down. We stop and get off at Eros. “Here, this is what I want to take home,” she says. “Some of this.”

A librarian approaches us, a friendly smile on her lips. “First time?” she asks.

It’s a little embarrassing, to be honest, to be caught on this floor. It is pink, purple and glittery. The heat is turned higher here than the other floors, making me damp. The pillows are larger than the others upstairs and they appear to be dented and rumpled, as if these lips had been moving. And indeed, as I watch, I see activity. Slow opening, closing, smiling, exhalations, panting, rolling—it is as if the lips were part of exercises and dances, but in slow motion. I blush, understanding at last what this all about.

My friend stammers out, “Yes,” she says. “First time.”

“Don’t be nervous,” the librarian says. “Many people start here. It is a good place for a beginning.”

“Can we take any of these home?” my friend asks. I admire her directness.

The librarian doesn’t answer right away. She tilts her head and contemplates me. “I see you have already found the tickling kisses. That’s very good.” She points to the skin beneath my ear and shows my friend the sign of our experiment on the Ludus floor. She tells us how each kiss leaves a small glow of warmth in its place. “You have already found the way to take our kisses home,” she says. “That glow will last a few hours and you can place those kisses in new places. Simply use your lips to pick up the warmth and transfer it. Once you have learned it, it is yours, ingrained, to repeat as often as you wish.”

The Library of Kisses is a vast and educational place, each kiss catalogued, each kiss a lesson. We can try any that we like. The Eros librarian leads us to the table with the French kisses, the deep kisses, the noisy kisses. She seems to float rather than walk. We float along after her.

As I wonder about this, she explains more. Time is adjusted here like the heat and it is effortless to be in the spell. On this floor, everything moves in slow motion in order to preserve the kisses. They are powerful, demanding near total surrender to learn fully by heart. She cautions us to choose what we want but to take it home in our own bodies before bestowing it on to the other. “You’ll need privacy,” she says, her eyes glowing. She looks at each of us, slowly, of course. “Remember, you can return,” she says. “We encourage it.”

In spite of the lazy heat and the warp of time, my heart races. I want to select our new kiss, head to my place sooner than later. I lean over the pillows to read, my friend’s hand in mine. We exchange glances, slowly lick our lips in unison. We nod. We choose the Soul kiss to make our own.

Friday, September 11, 2020

We woke to screeching

It was 2:30am

More squealing tires. Even

What these sounds?

Our bedroom window

Intersection where

Some car had flown

Over the barrier

Was now

On fire in the

Appeared neighbors

In their pajamas

Cameras and smoke

What

Flames

Moments

Jumped out

Soon all was

Four teenaged boys

An elderly

Up in the early

A retired reporter

Scene, the fire

Drunk, didn’t seem so

Just sixteen

Ok, scared

What am I

Tell my parents?

The next day all

Street was small

Ashes, oh and

Parts strewn near

Misted lightly

Oil slick

Rainbow

 

©2020 Chris Orr

Sunday, July 19, 2020

My Pickle

My pickle of bad, darling

My lips of hunger, starving

Lips spicy and tart

Our fingers of beauty, smart

And vinegar, wince

You touch me, convince

My pickle of bad

We go down glad

Slurp, lick

Delicious stick

Don’t stop

Atop

My pickle of bad


Breathe In Breathe Out

Breathe in racism’s poisonous hate

Breathe out sweet scent of redwoods in summer

Breathe in my best friend gone four years

Breathe out bike rides by the water

Breathe in I never learned how to draw his face

Breathe out loving kisses

Breathe in dark night of the imagination

Breathe out flight of the raven on warm air

Breathe in waiting for the doctor to call his name

Breathe out curtain rises




















©2020 Chris Orr

Two Haiku for the Lost Coast Writers Retreat at the Mattole River

1.

Mountain mist departs

Blue becomes bigger than cloud

Until all is sun

 










2.

Look toward the river

More greens than there are words,

My eyes understand










©2020 Chris Orr

 

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Find Singular Balance


   Her Pop looked flat. Gray and flat, like a deflated balloon with her dad’s nose.  It took Xenia a few minutes to get to the bed, wishing life into him but dreading that he might wake. One heart attack two weeks ago had made urgent everything unfinished in his life. His eyes fluttered open. “Did you find him?” he asked. 
   She considered not telling him--or of lying. She smoothed his hair while she decided. “Yes,” she said, and she thought of the other old man she had traveled to Berkeley to meet, leaving Philadelphia’s frigid snow to find a ferocious green and plum blossom scented hill and a house above the university. Down the hill was where the old man taught philosophy to students learning to judge right from wrong. 
   Xenia mulled over the secret that her late mom kept all her life--how it was like one of the tulips in the vase by this bed, so complex and passionate, but without defining odor to betray it. Xenia’s Pop was not her pop. Her ace reporter big brother uncovered the other man, even though there had been no sign since their mom’s return from driving him to the airport one summer night in 1954. Xenia was the accidental result of a lover’s farewell, or maybe a quarrel, on the way to catch a flight out of town. Were there two tickets or one? 
   Her mom missed her period for more than a month and then almost left Pop out of shame and regret. But Pop put his arms around her and comforted her. He said he’d adore the baby, too. They went on to have a third child: the brother who was now so jolted by Pop’s revelation of mom’s affair that he refused to talk to any of them. 
   Xenia leaned in to her Pop’s pillow. “I didn’t like the Professor,” she said. What she didn’t say was that the old man agreed to lunch at a restaurant but her half siblings from his marriage were off limits.    
   “That’s okay, Kiddo,” Pop said with a deep breath. “I’m the one who wanted you.”